"Who am
I?" The response to the most important question in life
Main Key points
· The phrase "Who am I?" implies that a person can only be one set thing, which only heightens fear.
Given how
frequently this question is asked, it is possible that the answer is correct.
Our being almost appears to be a static thing.
People who
regularly ask questions often struggle with who they are and seek a profound
understanding of who they are. The paradox is that while you search for your
identity, you're probably going to feel more frail about yourself. The question
being asked can be inversely related to how easy or difficult you find your
life to be.
Ø What approach
do you wish to take to life?
Making it
simpler for what you want to experience to the surface should be the main goal
rather than discovering who you are or what lies beneath.
Our identity
should be viewed as a fluid process. Instead of viewing ourselves as a static
photograph, we should embrace a flowing sense of self in which we are
continually organizing, contemplating, and reconsidering ourselves. What if
instead of asking "Who am I?" we asked, "How would I like to
interact in life?"
A sense of
inadequacy usually affects the question "Who am I?" People would fare
far better if they committed to the unfolding of life as they participated in
the increasingly difficult task of understanding themselves. By being conscious
of our thoughts, refusing to react out of habit, and living in the present, we
may better influence our lives. As a result, the identity we desire sets off
the wave of life, which the flow then intensifies.
Ø The extremes
of the identity continuum
Imagine that
you were sentenced to 20 years in prison at the age of 18. You hardly have any
adult life experience outside of prison. Your perception of yourself is
extremely limited. You can question yourself, "Who am I?"
You would
undoubtedly feel exposed as a result, which ironically would make you nervous
about being let go shortly. It's unlikely that you would opt to remain in
prison before you knew who you were. You must enable new insights into who you
are to come through your experiences.
My clients
have included people who have spent most of their adult lives married. They
frequently have unsettling thoughts after being divorced. They claim that they
don't know who they are.
What's more,
they might not be aware of who they are as autonomous, single individuals who
are not involved in a romantic relationship. After all, how else could they?
Instead of remaining entrapped in dread, you would need to summon a sense of
wonder and adventure. A completely new sense of self is beginning to emerge.
You get to recreate yourself as you travel.
On the other
extreme of the identity, spectrum are people who claim to know themselves very
well. The opposite extreme likewise symbolizes an identity-related
vulnerability. When you are so familiar with yourself, there is no room for
improvement. Furthermore, it suggests a serious vulnerability that is being
avoided since it would be dangerous.
Ø Your identity
is a potential flow state.
Searching
for a stronger sense of self makes sense. It makes sense to pay close attention
to your thoughts, emotions, hopes, and concerns. The secret is to embrace the
idea that you are malleable—more akin to a delicate willow tree than a sturdy
oak tree. The more flexible willow weathers the storm as it bends with the
wind, whereas the more rigid oak is more likely to break.
The universe
is thought to be a flow of possibility. And it is vital to understand that we
are a part of that cosmos. The goal is to actualize that potential by retaining
the facets of our identity that still serve us and letting go of the outmoded,
counterproductive facets that hold us back.
This process
is referred to as positive disintegration. This permits us to find a middle
ground between the previously mentioned opposing extremes and create a link
with the self that is committed to our own growth.
